Dealing dating anxiety
The thrill of a new business venture keeps you looking for opportunities and possibilities, not thinking — if I don’t get this, I’m done for.By the same token, go into dating ready for a positive interaction, rather than for rejection.Once you confront this feeling, it will become easy for you to overcome them. Perfect, you too are on a constant search for the woman who is perfect for you.In the process you end up comparing every girl you meet and don’t really like anyone.Use your true curiosity to find out about the person across from you. Share yours; listen to theirs without worrying about what you’re going to do with it or where it’s going. It’s not really about you; it’s about how everyone’s anxious wiring responds to uncertainty. For instance, your fear may say: What if she doesn’t like me? We think there’s some other skill, some magic material that we are lacking — something special, something right, something amazing. Here are three ideas to help you open up: What was your high school teacher’s advice when you were blocked writing a paper? Remember, like a conversation, the success of a date is a 50-50 venture. Rather than getting derailed with anxious thinking about how you are inadequate or uninteresting or how you can’t keep a conversation going, turn around, get back on track: work together to make it work. It’s just this one date; it’s not the end of dating. Even if you are feeling lonely, it is important to remember that however much you want more love and companionship in your life, you are living your life before this date and you will be living it after. Your interests, your friends, your purpose will be there waiting for you no matter what happens on the date.e H: How does one manage all the fears and worries? Chansky: Anxiety’s way of preparing ourselves for the unknown is to supply us with rapid fire “what if’s.” The problem is, the “what if’s” are more a reflection of the universal reaction to the unknown than to the specifics of your life. Rather than doing your pre-game huddle with the worst-case scenarios; do a reality check. Again, don’t personalize the universal reaction of anxiety. “Think about how you would tell a friend about the subject.” Imagine this on a date. If you’re uncomfortable — say it — chances are the other person feels the same way and by joking about it, this is how you will break the ice together. Make sure you go into the date remembering this radical thing — you don’t need this to work, you’d just like it to.And if it isn’t there, it’s no one’s shortcoming, it’s just not there.That may be disappointing, but it’s essential to have the discipline to resist making up unfounded explanations for why things didn’t work.
If you expect to feel somewhat anxious, you’ll make it worse by thinking — What’s wrong with me? Instead, take some slow deep breaths and tell yourself that this is normal, millions of people across the globe are feeling the very same thing as you are right now, and see if maybe mixed in with that fear of what could go wrong is actually a sense of excitement, curiosity and the thrill of the possibility of what could be right. The Founder and Director of the Children’s and Adult Center for OCD and Anxiety in Plymouth Meeting, PA, Dr.
This tension is natural when it comes to relationship, but men often disguise their apprehensions with the ‘single’ status.
It feels that they don’t want to identify themselves with this anxiety of getting into a relationship or dating.
Chansky lives with her husband and daughters in Philadelphia where she has helped thousands of patients overcome anxiety.
Sometimes we just get stuck between the idea of dating, giving hints to know how she feels, waiting for the right time to ask her out, fear of ruining the relationship and fear of losing her.